Issue No. 12
We just received a request from a long time patron of Red’s regarding certain rules and regulations that should be established at the bar. We will print these only on the understanding that these are his thoughts and not the thoughts of the Red’s Bar owner or the managerial staff of the bar. Unfortunately, this person requests that he remain somewhat anonymous.
Rule #1-Men are not allowed to wear scarfs into the bar!
Red’s is a blue collar bar; it does not have plants, ferns, fish tanks or expensive art on the walls. If your wife or girlfriend bought you a scarf, wear it when you leave the house but leave it in your vehicle when you enter the bar. If you persist, you will be asked to go the James Bar where that kind of clothing is readily accepted and favored. Enough said!!!
Rule #2-Buy an alcoholic beverage before you even think to ask the bartender to change the channel to your favorite venue. Countless others have earned and drank their way to favorable status regarding what TV’s will show their favorite sporting event. Also, by disturbing the bartender, a high volume consumer, like myself, may not be properly serviced when I get thirsty.
Rule#3-Do not badmouth high school or college basketball in any way, shape or form. If I am watching a game, do not attempt to talk to me or divert my attention from the game, just buy me a drink and I will talk to you later if and when my team wins. If you are a high school basketball official, find some other place to drink, there is no place for you in here.
Rule#4-No excessive and loud cheering for your favorite football team will be tolerated unless it is for the Grizzlies or the Oakland Raiders. You Cleveland and Philly fans know who you are!
Go Raiders!!!!
Rule#5-Slow pitch softball will not be regarded as a sport!
It is just a summer activity for certain individuals that never made it past their junior varsity teams. Slow pitch or “TOOTIE BALL” is a nice summer diversion where one can drink and enjoy lots of beer. If you want a real sport, move up to Fast-Pitch Softball!
Thank You
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